Transphobia and Ladyboys

Transphobia and Ladyboys

I used to have a longer story here, but it doesn’t come across so well in writing. I rewrote it 3 time and still didn’t like it, so I’ve removed it. Long story short, I hooked up with a ladyboy. I told the full story and some others on Bitcoin Uncensored if you’re interested. The reflection part is what matters most to me now.


I’d definitely do it again if I were single, and recommend to others to at least try it. Who knows, you might even like it? One thing I find weird about hooking up trans girls is the social stigma around it. It shouldn’t matter to others who people have sex with provided it’s all consensual, but there’s a weird stigma against hooking up trans girls, and I can’t figure out why. Is it transphobia?

I discussed this on Bitcoin Uncensored recently, and Chris DeRose made the point (paraphrasing), “If you ask a girl if she would or wouldn’t have sex with a guy who’d had sex with a trans person, and she said she wouldn’t, that would be socially acceptable. However, if you change the question slightly and say ‘black person’ instead of ‘trans person’, then suddenly it seems a bit racist if she says no. Why is one prejudice and not the other? Why is there a stigma against having sex with trans people?” I’d never really thought about it much before; I’d never really cared. For me, the core of the issue is all parties consenting and nobody else being harmed from the actions. As long as those two things are met, I can only describe an intolerance to it as transphobia. I cannot think of a sound argument as to why it’s not okay, or why it should be viewed as negative. If you disagree, or have further commentary on why things are this way, I’m open to discussing this either publicly on Twitter or privately via DMs. My contact info is in the section below.

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Jonathan Sterling

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In March 2017, I quit my job as a software engineer and began travelling around the world. This unmonetized, open-source blog exists to document my journey, share my thoughts, and let my friends and family know that I'm not dead.